Ineffective Modes

Criticizing Mode - communicates a "You're not OK" message, and is punitive.

Marshmallowing Mode - communicates a "You're not OK" message. When in this mode the person will often do things for others which they are capable of doing for themselves. When in this mode the person is engulfing and overprotective.

Compliant / Resistant Mode - expresses an "I'm not OK" message. When in this mode the person over-adapts to others and tends to experience such emotions as depression, unrealistic fear and anxiety.

Immature Mode - in this mode the person runs wild with no restrictions or boundaries. In this mode they express a "You're not OK" message.

Effective Modes

Nurturing Mode - communicates the message "You're OK". When in this mode the person is caring and affirming.

Structuring Mode - communicates the message "You're OK". This is the boundary setting mode, offering constructive criticism, whilst being caring but firm.

Co-operative Mode - communicates an "I'm OK" message. From this mode we learn the rules to help us live with others.

Spontaneous Mode - communicates an "I'm OK" message. This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic mode.

Accounting Mode - communicates "We're OK" messages. The Adult is able to assess reality in the here and now. When the Accounting mode is in the executive position it is possible to choose which of the other effective modes to go into, dependent on the situation. This is then called Accounting Mode. When using the descriptive behavioural model the term Accounting Mode helps to differentiate it from the structural model where it is referred to as Adult. When stable in this Accounting Mode we are taking account of the present context and situation and deciding the most appropriate mode to come from. We are then able to respond appropriately rather than flipping into archaic or historic ways of being, thinking and behaving which are likely to be inappropriate and unhelpful.

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