Driver Behaviour or Working Styles

These are common patterns of behaviour by which we "counter" our script. The word "driver" reflects the way behaviour can be "driven" in these ways, but in their milder degrees - referred to as Working Styles - they can be very helpful qualities. When we understand them, we can work to their strengths through choice, rather than believing (out of awareness) that we have to do things this way in order to be OK.

• Be Perfect
• Be Strong
• Try Hard
• Please Others
• Hurry Up

The importance of recognising these in ourselves and others is that we can then work to the best of them rather than be driven by them.

Be Perfect
This working style leads us to be really good at doing accurate detailed reports. We will be neat in our appearance and our homes will be clean and tidy. If we have this style and are under stress it is likely that we would beat up on ourselves for not being good enough, for making a mistake, for something being out of place. Of course, we created the rule about what perfection is, and then we don't meet up to it we have a go at ourselves. This may also mean that we expect others to be perfect too which can be hard on the colleagues we work with.

Be Strong
If we have this working style we will be great in a crisis. We can take control of situations and people will often feel safe around us. The difficulty is we may come across as aloof as we don't express feelings very often. For us there is a tendency to say "it is" rather than "I am". The former phrase distances us from our feelings, enabling us to safe. We may stand apart from playful activities fearing we may look stupid. Instead of saying this however, it is likely that we condemn the activity as stupid and put down the person who suggested it.

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